quote of the day
Champions keep playing
until they get it right.
-- Billy Jean King



Remember me

[ Forgot password? ]

23 Aug - 21:53
Praise God for this day... nice warm weather

20 Aug - 23:10
NP sweet mumkin. Your company is lovely. I apologize again for late respons!

15 Aug - 18:03
sorry for slow reesponses on forum..I am back

15 Aug - 17:48
Hewwo Sorry about VERY late reply, but thankyou for these quotes

I shall contribute. Can't remember who wrote this...

"Your religion should be less of a theory, and more of a love affair."

15 Aug - 17:43
“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.”
― Jim Rohn

11 Aug - 20:12
“Don't ever give up.
Don't ever give in.
Don't ever stop trying.
Don't ever sell out.
And if you find yourself succumbing to one of the above for a brief moment,
pick yourself up, brush yourself off, whisper a prayer, and start where you left off.
But never, ever, ever give up.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich

11 Aug - 13:55
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Japanese Proverb

27 Jul - 01:37
I love you

15 Jul - 02:38
here's to a new day xxxx

05 Jul - 17:51
birthday was great

Indogo articles

Thee Weather
Find more about Weather in Maldon, UK

5 - The Squeewee Chronicles - Conversation with a Squeebrew
Finn C. M. Beauchamp
Sat 27 Dec 14
email to someone printer friendly pdf output  

These are the conversations of the Scientist to the King of Isqueel, after he landed of course. As you may know, Squeebrews speak Russian and Squeebrew. And as Royalty, you were required to speak fluently.

As a very unlikely coincidence, the scientist also spoke fluent Russian. So their "chat" came on quite well. I shall be translating this, as this is an english website.

SCIENTIST: Greetings, O King. I am from the Western Lands. I mean no harm.

KING: Ah, you mean no harm, yet you do not come with gift in hand? Do you have any regard to tradition?

SCIENTIST: Oh King, I was not aware. Here is a cream egg.

KING: My Goodness! *gets off his throne and peels it* How is this eaten?

SCIENTIST: Simply take a bite.

KING: *Nibbles* Bah! This is spilling cream on my floor! Remove this item immediately! This food and all likeness is now forbidden!

SCIENTIST: Fine. *Eats it*

KING: How dare you partake of a forbidden fruit, outside my palace? Go back to your boat, before I  have you captured!

SCIENTIST: I do not mean to offend you your Highness, but... how are you going to capture me?

KING: Oh, fair point. Well, just go back to your boat, pretty please?


It should be noted that this question was replied to by a strangle, bubbling growl that only a squeebrew can perform. It is also tradition that when guards hear the king growl, they should also growl. When this is heard, the palace growls. Over time this spreads through the land.

Within a short space of time, the scientist was running to his dinghy and sculling like he never sculled before.

Within a few days, he returned, but this time, gift in hand. He had decided to pack a few small boxes of yoghurt raisins.

The conversation got off a lot sweeter this time. Here is the conversation.

SCIENTIST: Thankyou, Oh King, for giving me information on your food-bearing tradition.

KING: *Munch* Very good. It is also a tradition, to give a gift back. Servants!

Some servants came over. He whispered in their ears, and they nodded and left for 20 seconds. When they returned, they were rolling in a large beetroot.

Now, it should be noted that the scientist had over the years come to hate beetroot. And here was a king, offering him one.

KING: Eat! It is my countries favorite vegetable.

The scientist swallowed his pride (along with some spittle), and took a bite. He chewed. Swallowed. Shuddered.

SCIENTIST: Delicious, King.

KING: So, what must you ask?

SCIENTIST: Well, I have been on a small boat with some rather smelly sailor for quite some time, trying to find a small country in the Black Sea.

KING: What a coincidence.

SCIENTIST: Quite. All I ask is that you teach me about your country. I will give you access to the outside world. Knowledge. Language. Food.

KING: Why?

SCIENTIST: Because, Oh King, I believe that you can have more. And I want not to be thought of as a crazy, middle-aged man who can't do a single worthy piece of work.

KING: And you think finding a small island filled with miniature intelligent pigs will fulfill that need.


KING: In that case, fine. One condition.


KING: Don't tell them where we are.

SCIENTIST: Yes, sir.

What follows is a large study of the Squeebrews and their tradition, home, and lifestyle.


P.S. Don't worry, Squeewee will join us soon.

<< Indogo articles front page

>> List articles in this category